So why is it I don’t get to decide when these topics should be discussed.. they just come up… unplanned… unscripted… no time to prepare…
Today I pick up the My Daughters, we are in a rush to get home, do chores, eat dinner and get back out the door for PTA Math night… My oldest is sitting in the back seat and says, “Mama…when we get home, can I talk to you? Alone?” I answer, “yeah – yeah – just get your chores done first then we will talk.”
I’m in my bedroom changing clothes after a hard day at work when I hear tap tap on the door. I realize I forgot that we needed “to talk”… I tell her to come on in and the conversation goes something like this…
My Daughter: Mama…? (looking really scared… I mean freaked out scared…)
L O N G P A U S E….
Me: What?!
My Daughter: (sniffling…) I think I have breast cancer!
I am STUNNED!! – and a thousand thoughts running thru my head… What did she just say? How does she even know about Breast Cancer? Could she have breast cancer? Coming to my senses I say…
Me: What? Why do you think you have breast cancer honey?
Daughter: Because I have a knot on my boob.
Me: Where exactly?
Daughter: Right here. (point smack dab to the center of her boob).
Me: Oh, honey it’s okay… I’m sure it’s not breast cancer… let me look at it.
Daughter: It hurts.
I notice a little bump… a little misquito bite sized bump starting to form under her well.. you know what.
Me: Honey, you are starting to grow boobies.
Daughter: Huh? But it hurts!!!
Me: Yeah… it does sometimes.
Daughter: But I thought it wouldn’t hurt… like it doesn’t hurt when I grow taller… I figured they would just grow…
Me: Nope… sometimes it hurts a little.
Then she had lots of questions on why it was only one sided…?? would the other side catch up ??…. Is one always bigger than the other…?? Is that why there are padded bras to make up the difference??
Y O U G E T T H E I D E A!
Finally, I decided I better ask her some questions of my own… I needed to find out just how close she is on some other things so I know if I need to start doubling up on my purchasing of tampons or not…
Me: So, er.. ek hum... did you ever check to see if you have hair growing anywhere?
Daughter: Yeah.
Me: And??? (I’m dying here… help me out a little girly okay!!!!)
Daughter: (hiding a grimace grin…) it’s fuzzy & soft!!!
OMG! WHERE IS THE VINO! Mama needs a Merlot! That one put me RIGHT over the edge!!!
