25 years ago Princess Diana married Prince Charles…

It’s every little girl’s fantasy. It truly was a magical moment. We’ve all seen the pictures. I even remember being mesmerized in front of the TV watching it with my parents. It was a fairy tale from the beginning…how a poor little spinster girl ends up marrying a prince. She arrived in a carriage, the train of her gown flowing out the cathedral… Princess Diana was the main event…all cameras and eyes were on her. She was beautiful and had everyone watching her …succumbed to her beauty and the beautiful life she was embracing… so we all thought.

But we also know how it ended…affairs, divorce, death…

So the question begs to be asked… do fairy tales really exist?

My youngest daughter (age 6) whose name is Sarah (which fittingly means “Princess”) truly believes she is a princess. At age 6 - everything is real - Santa, the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny…and Princes. Sarah captures everyone’s heart…she’s just got that girly personality. My mother says she is me made over…God bless her soul….

The first prince in her life was her dad. Every girl wants to be daddy’s little girl…the apple of his eye. Most girls want to marry their dad when they are little. Sarah’s dad plays the part well. He deserves a daytime Emmy for the performance he gives when he sees her.

Now some of you are thinking…Well, what’s the problem with that? Even my six year old through her innocent eyes wonders what is wrong with that...

Re-read the last four words of that paragraph… “when he sees her.”

Does he show up every other weekend like he is supposed to for his visitation time with his daughters? Survey Says, “No”.Does he call when he’s not going to show up? “No”.Does he call during the week just to say Hi? “No”.Does he call on her Birthday to say, “Happy Birthday!”? “No”.Did he watch her play ONE soccer game last season? “No”.Does he call on Christmas or Christmas morning to find out what Santa brought? “No”.Does he know her favorite color? Her best friends name? What her favorite book is? No. No. No. Does he know her teacher’s names at school? Does he know her favorite food? “No”.

Does he know she loves him anyway?

As her mother…it breaks my heart. The battles her father and I fought …the choices we made, the separate roads we decided to take need not concern her nor are her fault. I left her father for reasons I won’t go into (that’s for another blog…maybe). I refuse to be the bad guy and point these things out to her… I will not be the one to ‘dethrone’ her prince or ruin her fairytale, no matter how angry it makes me or how much it truly hurts to see her not have a father who loves her back the way she loves him.

How can I do this you ask???

My other daughter, Rachel (Age 9) is Miss Intellectual. She is straight A’s, brains, but no common sense…bless. She has had her first few doses of reality and does not always view the world with rose colored glasses She knows Santa is not real, nor the tooth fairy. She also knows that her dad has let her down; he has broken promises made directly to her. Does she love him anyway?

Sure she does.

Have I led Rachel in her beliefs in any way about her dad? No. She’s learned it on her own…unprotected from Mama’s wing…or mouth. As a mother, instinct wants to warn them like crazy…tell them what kind of father they REALLY have. Let all the skeletons out of the closet!
But if you believe in fairytales, you can’t do that…

I still do love the fairytale…the white knight saves the princess…I’m in love with the fantasy of it… but I know what’s fantasy and what’s real. That doesn’t make me love it any less. Fairytales are what keep us motivated… they keep the dreams alive… the energy flowing… without them we die.

So even though I know how Princess Diana’s life ended up…I can still see a photograph taken 25 years ago of her on her wedding day and feel just as elated for her…even though I know the end…because, it’s "living for the moment" and in that moment, her fairytale was real!

Right now, the moment my kids are in, is a moment when they feel loved by their daddy. Every girl is entitled to it. They will grow up… they will be able to see the truth one day…but for the moment, it makes them happy…its part of their story….their fairytale.

Embrace the moment, enjoy the fairytale…don’t worry about the future…because the future will happen no matter what. At least you can say you had it for a time…

Originally posted: Monday July 31, 2006 - 06:42pm